someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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