Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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