Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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