I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Less talking, more tequila
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
