Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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