This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
