I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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