from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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