my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And then my night got REAL pukey
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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