my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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