i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
