you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Alive.
So much puke
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
