no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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