belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
