my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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