i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
