you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
