it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
