My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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