Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
