He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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