I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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