What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize