If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize