It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
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