do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize