if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
