Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So many bounce houses so little time
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
