Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
