I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
