yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
