Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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