Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
