I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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