at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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