he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
