worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
