alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
