I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
