we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize