16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
