I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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