Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
