The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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