I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
