You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
