Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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