Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm bleeding and have questions
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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