i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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