Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think my moral compass just broke
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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