wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
