party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
