and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
