Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
