imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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