i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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