yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
