I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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