...so i touched it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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