saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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