The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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