Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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