Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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