im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
