I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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