Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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