My first STD was from a foam party
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
