Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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