You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
