if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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