If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
