Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
