Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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