the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want to be your penis for a week.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
