why didn't you poke me back
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
