Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
we're so committed to being not committed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
