So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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