what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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